Appeared in October 1998

"But officer, I was eating a doughnut!"



Did you ever go to buy Auto Insurance and they ask "Do you smoke?" The agent tells me I get a discount because I don't smoke. "It's a distraction," she tells me. I ask if I also get a discount for not having a cell phone, as that is an even bigger distraction, but to no avail.

So how much of a discount will I get for not owning The AUTO BIB?

 It's "...spring supported to hold a full meal!"  I'm thinkin, "Eat, THEN drive!!!" I don't feel comfortable on the freeway knowing the guy next to me is doing 75 while working on a steak and baked potato.

The ad boasts, "Drips can't get through the TYVEK coated surface."
"Oops--I spilled my scalding hot coffee, which is burning my legs through this TYVEK coated surface. And all the coffee's running off the sides, down into the seat, but never mind that--I can maintain control of my vehicle because I don't have to worry about stains or mess!"

Notice also that the girl in the photo is not wearing a seatbelt, and from the position of her legs we can see that her feet are nowhere near the pedals.  


Text content and original graphics c.2006 by T. Graff / All ad images and scans copyright their respective owners.