Appeared July 2007

Free! Fifty Dollars for $100!


I'm sure you've all seen these ads in your Sunday paper by now.
They're massive double-page ads.
They're not "selling" U.S. coins, they're giving them away!  For free!

According to the image of the "Ballistic Roll" of U.S. Presidential Dollar coins, these are "Never Circulated."

It is unknown why the mint would need to tell us that new coins have never been circulated.

Not "Uncirculated," mind you, but "Never Circulated."

These aren't photos of the Loch Ness monster, they're photos of guys hauling crap with hand trucks.  The reason that these "are the only known photos" is because people usually don't snap photos of guys hauling crap with hand trucks.   Why they're using hand trucks, I don't know, as you'll see soon...

"Public Release."  As though when most currency is released, it's kept private.
"We're minting new coinage, which is legal tender,
but we're only going to let certain people use it."
Note the fake insignia on the guy's shoulder, and the marble pedestal, showcasing -- get ready -- FIFTY DOLLARS of U.S. Currency!  Wow!

(note: all highlighting is mine.)

Who?  Oh, yeah, Timothy Milton is "Chief of Coin Operations for the World Reserve Monetary Exchange."  What the hell is the World Reserve Monetary Exchange? 

Why, they're the company that's selling U.S. Coinage, the company who placed the ad, and who " not affiliated with the United States government or any government agency.".

In fact, I'm the President of the International Institute for Stupid Advertising!

That's the voice of authority!  Some guy who works for the company, telling us all that people are "practically clawing each other's eyes out" to buy this offer!  That's a voice you can trust!

What could a roll of fifty dollar coins be worth?  Oh, I dunno.  Fifty Bucks?

But remember, They're FREE!

Well, you do have to pay us $88 to sell them to you.
And about $12 bucks shipping.
So yeah, for FREE , we'll send you $50 worth of coins for $100 bucks.

They're HEAVY!

Because the packaging looks just like standard 12.5kg bars of gold.

(For Americans, that's about 27.56 pounds.)

Note the security guard in the above photo hefting these packages with both hands!

They're HEAVY!


Wow!  425 grams!  That's about 15 ounces.
Less than the weight of a pint of milk.  Better use both hands!

So in the above photo with men using hand trucks to move about 15 of these packages, they apparently couldn't lift and carry 6.3 kg (14 pounds.) 


Text content and original graphics c.2006 by T. Graff / All ad images and scans copyright their respective owners.