Appeared in May 1999

It's got chemistry in it!


Companies come up with new combinations of chemicals and other crap to dump in their products all the time.

But they can't just say
"Certs® adds Vegetable Oil to make our mints shiny!",
so they call it

To see a fantastic fictional example of the Marketing Department controlling the naming of products, you must rent the film "Brain Candy."

Anyway, whatever they're shoving into this bottle of Ben Gay®, be it more Menthol, or acetylsalicylic acid, or whatever, they had to give it a Scientific name--

A Pain Reliever Times Three!

To prove how Scientific this Scientific new product is, they put what appear to be molecule diagrams on a chalkboard behind the product.


And if they had consulted any high school Chemistry student, they would know that

Triangles and 90-degree elbows do not exist in molecule diagrams.


Text content and original graphics c.2006 by T. Graff / All ad images and scans copyright their respective owners.