Come to our restaurant for FREE DINNER [if your date pays for it].

Our dealership is offering a FREE CAR [but you have to get your parents to pay for it].

Come to our pub for FREE BEER [if some guy is buying the house a round].

These pitches all seem ridiculous.  And yet...

This seemed too good to be true.  I mean sure, there's an asterisk at the end, with the footnote (above the claim, for some reason) "Some Restrictions Apply.  Limited Time Offer."

So I called, and sure enough, they DO provide "Free Windshields," IF you have full coverage insurance with zero deductible.  That is to say,

IF YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY PAYS US FOR 100% OF THE COST OF THE WINDSHIELD, THEN M.S. GLASS WILL INDEED BE HAPPY TO PROVIDE SAID "FREE WINDSHIELD."